Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togeva today

Alright, so I'm approaching the age where mariage is on the mind quite a bit for a lot of us. All of my friends are dating seriously and getting married... Some even have kids! Now I must be odd or something because I haven't dated... Ok let me clear this up. I have never officially been someones girlfriend before. Ever. I have gone on a couple dates. Some... Like maybe two were actual dates where I was asked by someone who actually wanted to just go on a date with me. The rest were set ups by my friends or just hanging out with a guy friend for a night. Why is it that I can have guy friends... Even guy friends who like me more then a friend, but never want to just ask me on a date? Let alone be "together". Am I so weird that no guy will ever show any type of PDA... Including hugging.. In front of anyone? Ok well all that stuff doesn't bug me that much. I just wonder why. What am I doing wrong? Can someone please explain this? I only write these things because I do know for a fact that nobody reads my blog. Haha. But anyway. About mariage. Why do people get married? What is the real motivation?how does someone know for certain that they are picking someone who is going to be loyal and loving to them for their entire lives?! I'm sorry for the skepticism but I don't really believe that it is truly possible to know. I've thought I have loved someone and thought I knew it for three years! But then one day my eyes were opened and I realized what a jerk he was! That has happened twice actually. I had all these dreamy ideas about how great these guys were and how fun they were but in the end o realized that they were both just controling manipulative users who only treated me with respect when they had nobody else to turn to. They both knew I liked them and they used it to their convenience. On the other hand, I knew someone for two years and also thought I loved him but never would admit it to anyone and tried to even deny it to myself because I was scared of... Who knows what! Than after another three years of knowing him and just being friends I have realized what a truly remarkable guy he is. And how stupid I was to be so..... Stupid! He liked me a long time ago but I hurt him so much and now he doesn't. And now I wish that he still did. So the moral of this story is how come people get married after dating for three months? That isn't even long enough to really know the good sides of the person. Let alone the bad sides. People can put on a show for a year or even three years before you get to know that they are really abusive users with anger management problems. How do you really trust someone after just that long?! ..........maybe this is why guys don't date me. Haha I have to be friends for a long time before unknown for sure if I can like them as more, let alone be in a full time relationship. I just don't want to be used. Any more! The end. Good night dear sweet void. I can always count on you to listen attentavely :)